St. Hardcock’s Day, Durham City

VIcars from The Church of Mortal Sin celebrate St Hardcock’s Day by taking to the streets of Durham CIty with their penises exposed whilst exhorting passing ladies to show their breasts.

St. Hardcock was an 11th century priest with a personality disorder.  He would regularly wander the streets of towns and villages in County Durham to preach the gospel by waving his erect penis around and shouting “GET YER TITS OUT!”

His perfectly preserved penis is kept in the parish church at West Cornforth. Every year on St. Hardcock’s Day the village ladies will attend church with their breasts exposed. It is said that St. Hardcocks penis becomes erect and ejaculates all over them , thus giving them his blessing.

Priests of The Church of Mortal Sin continue the work of St. Hardcock to this day.  They are regularly approached by bare breasted women who wish to be blessed. They also squirt their blessings onto any lady who they think deserves their blessings. This has sometimes led to problems with the local police.

~ by richardhead on October 4, 2008.